Jammiest bits of jam

If ever decided to write a story set in a historical period, it would have to be Victorian England.

For one, I have a very strange affection for Bustle Dresses, made even stranger by the fact that I loath dresses and skirts and NEVER wear them. I just think they’re so beautiful.

I also have an unhealthy love for period dramas. I’m not quite sure why, as usually, I snark all the way through watching them, rolling my eyes as the heroine twist her ankle and almost dies because of it. But is then saved by whatshisname as he carries her over a rainy meadow. Unless it’s Alan Rickman when Alan Rickman did it, it was awesome (yes I know technically that movie was set in the Regency era, not the Victorian one, but it’s Alan Rickman.)


Then there’s steampunk, I love steampunk. I can’t say I’ve read a lot of it but what I’ve read I really enjoyed.

I’ve read Gail Carriger’sThe Parasol Protectorate” series, it’s a really funny if you’re into historical, romances with a supernatural theme.

I have a few more novels waiting to be read.

I also have three Trade Paperback Volumes of “Lady Mechanika” waiting for me to read, they all look amazing. I’ll get back to you about what I think of them when I’ve read them.

But the best part of Victorian England is the slang. I mean the words they came up with. I wish I wanted to write historical novels, I mean, just to be able to use words like these:

Afternoonified – A society word meaning “smart” (that’s “dressed-up” or “fancy looking” for you Americans)”

Arfarfan’arfa man who’s had many ‘arfs,’” or half-pints of booze.

Church-bell – A talkative woman.

Chuckaboo – BFF

Cupids kettle drum’s – boobs

Damfino – a cuss meaning “Damned if I know”

Dizzy Age – an elderly person.

Doing the Bear – dating that involves hugging.

Double-breasted water-butt – a hot guy

Flapdoodle – a sexual inexperience or incompetent man

Gal-sneakera notorious seducer

Gigglemug – smiling face

Jammiest bit of Jam – a perfect young woman

Mafficking – getting rowdy in the streets

Skilamalink – a shady person

Tallywags – testicles

Whooperups – bad, noisy singers

And finally, my absolute favorite… Crinkum-crankum – a vagina

I mean can you imagine what a night out would sound like if people talked like that today?

“Hey, you’re a Jammiest bit of Jam, I noticed you gigglemugging at me.”

“I did, you’re a real double-breasted water-butt.”

“Want to come over to my place?”

“I don’t know, you look like a real gal-sneaking skilamalink.”

“What? No, I mean I’m no flapdoodle, I’ve been around the block. But I know how to treat a lady, especially one with Cupids kettle drums like yours. Come on, I’d love for my Tallywag and your Crinkum-crankum to get to know each other.” 

I would go out every night just for the fun of it!

The last time I was in London I found these magnets when I went to Kenwood House, I just had to have them, they’re now on my fridge and make me smile every time I open the door.

How about you, do you have a favorite historic time period? What attracts you to it?


//Ms. F



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